Young Writers Society

I liked the poetic nature of your piece. I didn't necessarily agree with the philosophy behind it, but it sounded nice.

I am not 12, so the vocabulary was within my grasp and I liked the way you avoided the typical unsophisticated bantering one tends to find in works such as this.

I release you now from my keep. You, crutch of the mind, fetter of my soul. I no longer tread the crude paths you once preached; I am no longer driven by your will. I toss you now, to die among your kind--the tissues, the magazines, the papers, to be processed and reused and made into something of use: a notebook, perhaps, for the recording of my own thoughts.

Hmm... it was very Interesting.


Like Ayra, you had some difficult word for 12 year olds, but most of the other members are 13 or older, so don't worry about it. XD

Although the "Nay" part near the end was Old English (love it XD), you might want to add some more Old English in, as well.

Other than that, it's pretty much what Ayra said.

Again, it was very interesting.
















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the morrow --

This is very creative. I really like it, although some of the vocabulary was too complex for my 12 year-old mind.

the morrow wrote:You, crutch of the mind, fetter of my soul. I no longer tread the crude paths you once preached; I am no longer driven by your will. I toss you now, to die among your kind--the tissues, the magazines, the papers, to be processed and reused and made into something of use: a notebook, perhaps, for the recording of my own thoughts.

the morrow wrote:Nay, do not even point to it, for you point at the wind.

the morrow wrote:I need no master to teach me humanity. My humanity is my own.